Our little bean

Yesterday started off with a frantic run to the doctors office as Tanya started to experience some bleeding. Now, maybe it wasn't all that much.... but it might as well have been a pint for all the freaking out we did.

I think I'm starting to like this Dr Bebla guy... he really put us at ease. The ultrasound still showed our little bean with it's heart ticking away at 150 beats a minute.

One good thing that came out of the scenario was that I got this little image of our bean to put up here.

As of now everything is okay

- Scott

Sometimes dreams do come true...

We saw the little bean yesterday with it's little heart ticking along at 141 beats a minute. The obstetrician sees everything as just fine.

It really makes you wonder about Tanya's dreams.

Tanya walked out saying "maybe it is communicating with me." I don't doubt the power of the mothering instinct.

In related news that really doesn't matter considering how positive this news is.... the printer on the ultrasound wasn't working... so no picture to put up here as I had hoped.

I do think I will hassle the hospital about finding a way to get us one.

- Scott

Dreams

So we drove 130 miles to get our 5th wheel camper yesterday... then 130 miles back. Mom... being the ever lazy bum that she is, spent half the ride asleep.

"I had a dream everything was okay" she woke and said.

Now I'm not one to place faith in much of anything,let alone dreams. However, Tanya rarely remembers her dreams. The last dream she remembered was that she was pregnant... and voila, she was.

Maybe Mom and baby have a connection (well.... obviously they do) and subconsciously she knows the baby is there.... and that it is okay.

It helps that my research shows pretty clearly that her lab results were potentially too close to give a clear suggestion of a problem. Also there are a number of factors that could be playing here... some of which we know are indeed factors. Besides, there's been no other signs of a problem.

So I will hope... I will hope some more... and I will be there for Tanya every step of the way.

Tomorrow I believe we will see that tiny little heart beat... and we can get back to the joy we have been feeling. Right now our emotions are on hold... all we can do is fight back the worry with hope.

- Scott

On the edge of being devestated...

Lab numbers (HCG) aren't rising the way they should.... not a good sign.

I'm so sorry she had to get this news on her birthday.

She deserves to have a beautiful little baby so that she can be the best mom ever... I hope it's a fluke and things work out.

Well... ultrasound and meeting with the doctor on Monday.

- Scott

It's Mommy's B-day

It's mommy's birthday today!!!!!!

She is laying in bed right now..... she is so beautiful, so peaceful, such a wonderful person.

There is absolutely no one else I could even imagine enjoying this journey through life with..... she is going to be such a good mom.... she has already been an amazing wife.

The future holds such endless possibilities..... years of joy together with our beautiful child.

I love you both!!!!!

- Scott

Freckles

So we started noticing previously unseen freckles today.

Perhaps a game of connect the dots?

- Scott

Baby names

Well, we finished the 100,001 baby names book and not really sure what we're liking for a boy. I think we have better ideas if it's a girl.

Will probably change our minds entirely by the time the baby gets here.

Anyway, more blood work today for Tanya... and more on Thursday too!

- Scott

It's been a couple days....

Past few days were pretty eventful, but calm. We went to baby's first movie... Clash of the Titans remake (here's a picture of Mom getting popcorn and soda). Let's just say that I'm grateful the baby isn't born yet and has the protection of the womb between baby and movie. Once the baby's arrived I'll be sure to show the original.... just a much better movie.

Met with the doctor yesterday and he and the practice seem pretty decent. Had our first sonogram and found out we're much earlier along than we thought... about 4 weeks, versus the 6-7 that was thought. That probably puts us somewhere between mid December and Christmas time for a due date.

I was offered and accepted a position with the Brownell Center. The salary is as good as I was hoping for and I can start as early as mid-June. We'll have lots of money to buy tons of baby stuff!!! It also puts us in a position to let Tanya stop working in August to go back to school full time and stay home with the baby for the first year or so.

- Scott

Ahhhh....progress!

So Tanya is feeling a little bit better today. Her congestion is still there and giving her a headache.... she is taking Tylenol, but somewhat reluctantly. Overall she is feeling better - and that's definitely good.

I do suppose I'll run out today and put together a "pregnant lady care package" filled with all sorts of soothing and comforting things (you know... hot packs, cold packs, massagers - that sort of thing).

Last eve we had a bit of a tiff - I thought she was being unappreciative, she thought I was insensitive. Ah.... doesn't matter I guess, we kissed and made up... did my share of reassuring her.... she fell asleep.... I tossed in bed until 3 am worrying about things.

I pointed out this site today to Dr. Kang (he is my clinical preceptor and mentor). He thought it was a neat idea and we came to the idea of self publishing these entries and comments in a book after the baby is born. I can then save it for someday - to give to our son or daughter as a keepsake. I'm thinking I'd like to include more pictures - so expect more in the near future.

We think we have come to a decision on what doctor/practice we'll pick. That's one more thing to take off the to do list!

- Scott

All-The-Time Sickness

" I got a stiff neck " she says upon waking. So the average person would rub her neck, loosen it up a little... whatever. Nope... I assess for nuchal rigidity. The good news is she doesn't appear to have meningitis! Also, she hasn't yet complained of congestion, feeling weak or tired.... then again she's been up about 5 minutes.

She's been saying she's glad she doesn't get morning sickness... but that's because she has all-the-time sickness.

Time to make breakfast....

- Scott

I'm nesting.... she's sick

I thought the woman nested later on in pregnancy? Well apparently it hit me today.... all the laundry done, house cleaned top to bottom, grocery shopping completed!

Tanya came home from work and is still sick.... not better... perhaps feeling worse even. No fever tonight though.... had a fever last evening. It's funny how the littlest things like a cold, a fever, even taking Tylenol for crying out loud... become a big deal and a real source of anxiety.

She's in bed now, has been since 11pm. Her night owl ways are starting to change. She's even talking about keeping a better schedule so she can be healthier... getting up earlier, doing light exercise, eating 3 balanced meals a day. I promised her breakfast. Either eggs and ham or cereal and fresh fruit. I'm doing my damnedest to encourage healthy behavior. As a nurse I know it's an uphill battle.... with Tanya the slope is straight up :-)

I'm hoping with the cute blog title and all that, I might eventually get her to start posting a little bit. Let's face it... she's the one everyone wants to hear from, no?

- Scott

Suprise... I goofed

Tanya so lovingly pointed out today that I got my days mixed up with what things happened in the first couple days. No worry though... I've fixed it.... in fact, no one will ever see my mistakes!

Anyway.... today I obtained and directed www.BabyBurnside.com to this blog. Awwww..... baby's first web domain.

Its a pretty good bet, be it boy or girl.... It's a GEEK!

- Scott

Less than one week in.... the frustration takes hold!!!

So no Haggis for her last night because she's got a cold.... a teeny weeny little cold.... floored her!

Despite my best efforts to do well and essentially smother her with concern... attend to her every need... she tells me I'm am belittling her.

All I care about is the two of them staying healthy... if that means she can't tolerate working, so be it. It's not belittling to say that the cold is hitting her so much harder than it hit me... it's a fact.

I'm seriously considering I may need to take a few month travel assignment - particularly if she goes out of work sooner than later. I would hate to miss the first few months, but duty calls.

It's frustrating!!!! Not all is bad though... I still have these two beautiful lives laying in bed next to me... it's amazing. She's sicker than hell but still glows with pregnant beauty.

- Scott

April 9th - just woke up, starting this blog

Starting this blog - everything up to this point is recall, written after the fact. It might be a while before we tell everyone so I thought we could keep a running tally of what's going on.... perhaps more for our sanity that because anyone will want to know. However, for some reason everyone want to hear news about pregnant chicks. When we break the news people can go back and see all the crap we've been going through.
It is now 7 am... we have an appointment at 1:30pm with a potential practice that can deliver for us.

Haggis concert tonight!!!!!!

Looks like there's an obvious designated driver :-)

- Scott

April 8th

Off this morning to do my clinical exam. I finish that.... I am officially done! I have completed everything in my Nurse Practitioner program!!!!

Tanya's off this afternoon for an interview at Upstate.... she wants to go back to school.... with a baby on the way that is going to change a little, but she saw me through school... we'll find a way for her to do it.

I'm out with some classmates and she's done, sitting in a cafeteria waiting to go to work. We exchange some texts.... she texts that some of her numbers were off in her lab work. Some things wrong or she's earlier along than they thought. Well, let's think good thoughts, right? Yeah.... I'm freaked!

Return back to school, waiting for class... text comes in..... "honey... im headed to the ER...feelin faint."

Holy shit! Watch that fat man run! I pass off my assignment to a class mate to turn in for me and book to my car, drive up the street and park, book to the ER.
Got really sad news over the phone while in the ER. Nothing to do with her pregnancy or her health... just sad news.

I hate this emotional roller coaster!

5 hours later and we're out of there. Not sure what happened, but her lab work is heading in the right direction so it looks like she's probably earlier along rather than something is wrong.

Get her home after grabbing some food and rub her back while she falls asleep... it's still like falling in love again.

- Scott

April 7th

More doctor searching and calling. A least we see someone Friday. Tonight she has to work. I go to Karate class and stop out at Clarks with Steve for a couple beers. Apparently I am getting a little less smothering because at 11pm I get a text message on my phone with a little jab that says "no text tonight... you don't love us anymore?" I actually feel guilty..... what the hell is wrong with me.

- Scott

April 6th

Why is getting a doctor such a freaking hassle? (her GYN doesn't do delivery). I don't want to think or write about it. Had to work. It is tough leaving her, but getting a little bit easier. I feel like a lion protecting his den. I want to keep her locked away and safe.

Lots of baby name talk tonight. We can't seem to go to bed at a reasonable hour anymore.

- Scott

April 5th

Skipped clinical to be with her and get in to see the doctor. We want to get in quick because her uterus is funky shaped and that makes her higher risk (she can't make anything easy can she?).

Confirmed... she's preggers! Everything looks okay

So... off for some Chinese food before dropping her off at work. Hmmm... have to do something special for her, no? So I get a baby name book and a really fancy illustrated text book that tracks her pregnancy day by day. Now let's be real cute. I'll tag the pregnancy book "from baby" and write a cute little note on it. I'll also include a frog themed baby toy (she collects frog stuff). I wrap them all up in cute bay wrapping paper, put them in a gift bag with tissue paper (I know... what's wrong with me?), put the whole bundle in the passenger seat and go to pick her up.

She's surprised... and I think she likes it!

For me, it's like falling in love again

We stayed up until... I can't remember, but it was certainly late!

- Scott

April 4 2010 - Easter morning

It's just like us that I would break the news to her! Apparently waiting two minutes for a test result is just too long. Pee on a stick... throw it aside, crawl back in bed. Then wait for your husband to walk in and see a plus sign sitting on the ledge of the bathtub. So... I walk out, straight face, looking even somewhat disappointed.... in a sad voice "looks like..... Your pregnant"(I flip the positive result in her direction)! For a few seconds there is disbelief, then excitement, then happiness.... then she's not really sure what to think.... she's obviously a bit freaked out.

From the moment I saw that + sign my life changed. I wanted nothing more than to share the experience of raising a child with my wife. Something had been missing.... and it was only in this moment that I realized that something was missing and realized what that something was.

Off to work for me.... it's an understatement to say I was a bit distracted. Thank god my job is easy!

- Scott